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| Interview - Ratushnaya Oksana |  |
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Cor.: How did you start singing for God? Answer: The unexplainable peace has come onto me like a Spirit, like a Consolation. Then I found out that all the capabilities that appeared inside: verses, wise thoughts, love and forgiveness to all the people without exception, absence of worry, - He gave me all of that. Why? I don’t know. Ask me, whether I know why He chose me? Now I think that He saw how I suffered from all the ugliness I was surrounded by. Cor.: But you were successful as a professional actress, weren’t you? Answer: I was tortured by the contradictions. At the same time I was a mother of two, I studied in the theatrical institute and worked as an actress at theatres. I was lucky: I had main and positive roles. I devoted all my life to work. My children were submerged by my career. I didn’t have any personal life. I turned into something like a robot. I suffered from insomnia, and then it caused the disease of the facial nerve, it was the result of overwork … Cor.: What caused your leaving the theatre? Answer: … Once I saw a dream. It was a spiritual dream. I saw all the people of my profession, and all of them like bowed before the creature who was invisible, people were ready to do everything. They hold small dim lamps. I saw boom in their eyes. I was standing separately. When I turned back to see the one they were looking at and I saw emptiness with the smoke inside. Wafts were going up and I looked up to see something. I saw two horns and a face of someone like a man. But all the parts of a face were moving: the nose was changing into an eye, the eye was changing into a mouth. Eventually, he struck my head with an invisible hammer while laughing. I fell down dead. That strike was like electric shock. I even didn’t wake up, I just flew away from the dream, I was completely wet, and hair rose on my head. I didn’t need any explanations or interpretations. I realized: if I stay some time in this «world», I’m a goner. I left, when I had two months left to have my diploma. I left for Kiev to my present husband Igor. Cor.: And, when did you find peace? Answer: No, the long road of repentance only began. Igor accepted me with my two children and I didn’t work for three years. I was searching God in the Orthodox church, I crossed myself, visited priests. But my life was in a dead lock. Igor drank, I suffered and was sick. Corr.: How did you meet Jesus? Answer: After my son was born I went to work to the choir. And there I met a woman and she told me that Jesus – is the way, the truth and the life; she told me that He knows that I was looking for Him. It was the truth. We communicated a lot, and the main thing I understood was that I had to make a Covenant with the Lord. We prayed right near the window in the corridor. It was the rain of love, hot and sweet one. My tears were pouring down. I saw myself forgiven and excused. My insomnia disappeared. I came home, lied on my bed and slept till morning. And I never think about that disease again. My older daughter forgot about enuresis and my son forgot about sleepwalking. In a year time my husband gave up drinking. Cor.: What does music mean for you? Answer: Music that either praises God or has salt inside – wise music. How could that be? Music tells you everything. Try to listen what exactly. Sometimes it’s a call. Sometimes it’s a consolation. Sometimes it’s a joke. If this music is from God there is an order and gravity in it, even if it’s quite quick. If chaos and destruction comes into your heart than you understand who took these seven notes to jeer. I remember one occasion. Once someone brought a videocassette of Fil Driscoll, a popular trumpeter among Christians. I went along the flat, was doing something, and the music was playing and playing. And suddenly approximately in an hour I fell down on my knees and started weeping. I cried for n hour and a half. I know that I was admiring God and everything He was doing, I loved Him limitlessly. And after that I had to go somewhere. I thought: how could I go somewhere with such a blubbered face? But, when I looked at the mirror, I was amazed: the face of a child! Fresh, pure, no swollen eyelids, no redness! It was something new for me. I didn’t know that it’s possible to praise God with music. Corr.: What style of songs do you perform? Answer: Style? All the songs I sing came into my mind when I was sleeping. Any style. The main thing is that the song has to have the order and the purity in any style, the content and clearness, attitude of love and compassion. That’s all. Corr.: How do you think what is the difference between the social and worldly music? Answer: Foreign musical world is richer in good and meaningful music. In our country you can seldom hear the song you wanted to turn on and to listen to it again. In Christian musical culture everything has just begun. We didn’t have enough professional qualities. Professionals lack producers and sponsors. Cor.: Which home singers do you prefer? Answer: I like Taras Petrunenko. Cor.: Do you have many friends? Answer: I contact many people and love them very much. I wish them to have a possibility to fulfill the talent that was given by God, an opportunity to praise God, an opportunity to serve people with their creativity.
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